He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
