In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
