Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
