ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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