You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
