He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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