The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
