His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
