:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
