I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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