You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
