Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
