I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
