the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
