It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
