my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
