the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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