There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
