Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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