I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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