i just had sex bonerless
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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