did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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