Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
