Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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