hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
