She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
organizing the empties. That sober.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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