physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
