OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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