He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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