Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
