like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
