White coat. Heels.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
