last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
