Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
