PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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