Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize