grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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