Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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