Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
