i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
