We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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