i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
