Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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