Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
