She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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