i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His nipple licking is glorious
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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