i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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