Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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