She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
