its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
